I was thinking, for no real reason other than a comment over at FSP's, about an incident in my high school physics class.
There were perhaps 36 or 38 of us in this honors physics class at a math-and-science oriented high school. I was within the top three or so (I can't remember exactly which of my very bright acquaintances was in this class....Pretty sure one of them was our salutatorian, and he and another one or two guys went off to do math-y things at Harvard or similar).
Anyhow, my point is that I was competing with the best of them. Also in this class was a boy we shall call Ian, for that was his name. I had a crazy crush on Ian. He was cool, he was sly, he was daring, he was cute in an indie fashion, etc etc. I knew he was waaaay out of my league. I was nerdy, I was unduly respectful of authority, and my idea of a daring fashion purchase was Doc Martens. In any case, Ian had a girlfriend, in this same physics class, no less.
One day our physics teacher announced that we would all have to do short physics projects, for which we would team up in pairs. The project was due some N weeks in the future.
N minus 2 weeks later, Ian came up to me at lunch. "Hey, Jekyll, I was wondering if you didn't have a partner for that physics thing yet, and if so if maybe we could partner up?" (God he was adorable.)
I swooned. In my infatuation, I believed that Ian had a reciprocal unspoken crush on me. Screw the girlfriend. He loved me! Me!
I was oblivious to the obvious: Ian's grades in physics were nowhere near mine, and he figured I'd be a gullible target in my dreamy-eyed state--I would do the whole project, and he'd get the A.
Anyhow, I'd already partnered up with another friend in the class (who, come to think of it, also had low grades....) so I regretfully had to turn him down. My diary from the time records a long, pained entry in which I imagine that I could have been Ian's new girlfriend if only I hadn't already had a partner for the stupid physics project.
It took me years to figure out what had actually been going on.
Took years more to learn that some boys truly liked me for being smart, and not because they needed help with their homework.
15 years ago
4 comments:
I've had that experience before... except in chemistry class. Sigh. I definitely don't miss High School either.
Awesome. I love that you kept a diary. I still can't stand to read mine from that era. Childhood? Check. College? Check. High school? UGH.
Consider yourself lucky, it sounds like already having a partner spared you from making a painful realization.
My only question was- who did his girlfriend partner with?
Took years more to learn that some boys truly liked me for being smart
Hmm... Great that some boys actually liked you because you were smart. To this day, I am unaware of any crushes anyone in H.S. had for this nerdy girl!
Ms PhD--I've always wondered about his gf too. Of course back then, I didn't care at all.
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