Fortunately today I was doing analysis. So my hourly excursions to Wonkette and DailyKos, which typically left me wiping my eyes with laughter, didn't derail experiments.
In other news, we had a visit today from a nice post-doc candidate, who seemed smart and hard-working and all those good things.
When he asked me about housing, I happily gave him all the information I knew. Cost of housing? Oh, let's Craigslist a little--I was very accommodating.
Then he said, "It's good the housing isn't as pricey here as in some markets, because my wife wants to quit working after we have children."
Which is, like, totally fine with me and that's awesome that they can agree on that.
But it came like a splash of water in the face because--and this gives you some sense of how small my world is--I'm not friends with any women who do this.
The spouses or gfs of people in this lab, and GradLab, were all career ladeez wif teh paychex. The non-science wives of science men I know all have jobs. Even the umpteen women I know who have had kids lately have all taken shorter or longer maternity leave and returned to the job market.
Nope. Can't think of a one. Well, I guess if this post-doc joins our lab it will be a new and exciting experience for me.
Now back to Wonkette. I haven't had this much fun in years. To put a date on it, almost 7 years.
p.s.) Blogger? If you could NOT have pictures of your adorable little tots, or whatever babies those are you insist on posting pictures of, on the home-page? That would stop me having to replace my laptop on account of punching it.
p.p.s.) Really, someday I'll return to substantive posts about Science. But not with this sort of entertainment available.
15 years ago
7 comments:
What I find surprising is how many people in my group have done this, considering that I live in one of the most liberal lefty high-tech uber-educated parts of the country. Of the four scientists here who have had babies in the recent past (~year-ish):
One's wife quit her job and stays home w/the kids.
One's wife radically changed her schedule (she's a nurse) and now works 10 hours a week and spends the rest of the time home w/the kids.
One went from full time to part time after her baby was born, and is looking to cut back to even less than part time.
One quit bench science all together after having her baby, and is doing some kind of freelance science writing from home.
I found this really unexpected - this type of pattern is way more common where I grew up (in the rural Midwest) than I would have expected it to be in the Ivory Tower City where I live.
Blogger sucks shit. Come to Wordpress!!!!!
I know what you mean. I actually know many more women that do this than I'd care to admit, and some who even planned their education goals around finding a husband so they could have "lots of babies," and stay home.
To me this is baffling... and to be honest a little disturbing!
Thanks for the comment about pictures of kids too... I have a very similar response when I get cornered into looking at what other spectacular moment little johnny had over the last week.. like finally sitting up right, smiling for the camera or even saying "no" every time you tell him/her to do something.
I just stopped working after working part-time for last 5 years as a post-doc (because of very mean PI). I really miss doing science and still trying to something from home, but can not tell you how much content and fulfilled I feel that I could spend this summer with my kids without pressure of going to work any more and being with them all the time. This was the best summer I ever had. Although I plan to return to work as soon as possible, but I will be most glad if I still will be able to work part-time.
It's funny, I can kind of understand the appeal of dropping out of the rat race.
But. My mother stayed home with us, and I don't think she was all that happy.
I think she was bored.
And one of the things I think neither of my parents ever wanted for us was to be dependent on someone else for our food, housing, and spending money. What if something happened to our spouse and we were left alone with no career prospects?
If you've saved up a lot of your own money from working, and can afford to take a few years off, I can totally see that. Maybe not forever, but while the kids are little?
But we all know that being out of the workforce for even a little while can make it a lot harder to go back, and it's almost impossible to make up for that lost time.
Ironically, my friends who really wanted to do this have been unable to snare men who could/would support them. So far, it looks like they're all going to stay single with pets.
I promise you there are great Moms out there who still choose to work. I have no idea if I'm one of them (great mom), but I really couldn't be happier with what I do outside the home. I've recently changed careers from Tech/Lab Manager to Nursing. I'm currently in school and away from my child slightly more than if I were just working a full time job. I'm happy to give people shots and meds and all the 'gross' stuff nurses' do while someone else teaches my kid the ABC's and changes his diapers. Frankly, there are some things people are good at in this world. Those who are wonderful and LOVE being around lots of children open up their own 'in home day care' and make lots of money doing what they love (c'mon... you have to LOVE it to really put up with that many children). Thank Heavens for that! There are some people who don't like blood, guts, or people and they would make terrible nurses -- so... hooray for me and my new job. I have become the 'safe haven' for girlfriends all over the country (there are over 5 of us!) that want to think they are not bad parents for enjoying their careers outside of parenthood. We all know several of those women who jumped ship once the babies have come, but it's not the only way -- you just have to find out what's right for you. My opinion - Daycare rocks!!!
I am a female postdoc in my early 30s, thinking about when/where/how/why to start a family. (I am joking about the "why").
Growing up in post-communist Poland I have seen women who "had it all": children and career, due to easily available state-owned childcare. I cannot understand why it is so much more difficult (and expensive) to arrange childcare in the Western, supposedly more civilized countries?
But let me stick to the point: I would love to be able to continue working (full time) after having kids. And I would like to work in academia.
But from what I already know about how the system works, and how the professors (=decision makers) think, I am highly discouraged.
This week I am reading a book "Motherhood, the elephant in the laboratory", about experiences of women in science who try to "balance" motherhood with employment. It is highly fascinating reading, I cannot put the book down!
The book is about the choices, and sacrifices these women have to make. And I dare say that it is also about discrimination, although not in a direct, but in a more subtle way.
After this educational read, I feel quite helpless. I would like to be able to "take a break" from the rat race. But I know that this will hurt my career in the ways that I do not find acceptable.
I also do not find acceptable to sacrifice my personal life and to not have kids at all.
As the biological clock is ticking, I have not choice, but to change my career path and leave the academia entirely. At the moment this is the only solution that I can see. In academia there are too many invisible career punishments for taking time out, or working part time. But maybe it is only this way in US?
I would like to have some hope left, as I cannot find any role model in this book that would empower me in the was that FemaleScienceProfessor blog does. Her blog makes me believe that the mix of career and motherhood could be possible. But it seems (my impressions from the book) that a few decades ago it was easier that it is now...
I would like to recommend this book to all you fellow female postdocs :) and I am going to give my copy away and ask my postdoc friend to pass it on. I would like this book to travel the world around :)
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