I am grateful to many people for my scientific training, but in addition to my grad and postdoc advisors, there is one person in particular who stands out.
When experiments aren’t working, this is the person who most frequently offers useful troubleshooting advice. When experiments are working, he’s full of feedback on my interpretations, and ideas about where to take the science next. In short, I rely on him at every step, and it would normally be appropriate to acknowledge his support each time I give a talk or write a paper.
The problem is that this person is Dr Hyde.
Ok, it’s not a problem per se. It’s fabulous that over dinner every night he helps me solve the modern mysteries of experimental biology. He’s in the same sub-field as I am, but has several more years of experience than I do; also, he’s brilliant and well-versed in many aspects of biology; so his feedback is unbelievably useful.
The problem is that, while his contributions put him well over the bar for whom I’d normally thank after a talk (and if he were just another postdoc I’d certainly do so), thanking one’s spouse at the end of a scientific presentation is uncommon. This issue is particularly thorny for women, because I’m leery of raising, even for an instant, the question of whether I’m somehow dependent on Dr Hyde.
Presumably, for most people the fact of our marriage implies that we give each other useful scientific commentary (although any fair accounting would show that he helps me more than I help him). Still, I feel like I’m giving him short shrift if I don’t formally acknowledge his contributions.
I wish that I could simply say, “Dr Hyde gave me useful feedback on these experiments” at the close of talks, and not worry about what people would think.
Undoubtedly that will be alright, after I win the Nobel prize.
15 years ago
9 comments:
Fuck it. Thank him. You don't have to go over the top, but there is not reason not to thank him along with other people.
And let me just tell you, there are plenty of situations where two scientists who are either in the same lab or collaborators are having an illicit affair--and everyone in the field knows it--but the two people think no one knows it. The snickering and twittering that goes on when those two acknowledge each other is much more extreme than anything that could possibly happen if you acknowledge Mr. Hyde.
Honestly, no one gives a shit or will think less of you for this, so long as you aren't actually collaborating with him, so feel good and thank him!
I can see why this would be sticky, but I would thank him. I would make sure that the language of the thank you matches how you normally thank people, but beyond that, I think you can be in the clear.
What PP and academic said....
I totally agree.
I just attended a geezer lecture where the luminary referred to his work with his once-grad-student, long-term wife and collaborator many times. He also referred to the work of many of his other trainees-now-mid-to-senior investgators, of course.
Now, admittedly, we have numerous couples like this in my subfield so perhaps it is more "friendly" that way.
I reversed the verbs in physioprof's opening remarks, is that wrong?
It's nice to see so much support for thanking him. I'm surprised, though, because I've heard plenty of talks by members of scientist couples, and almost never do I hear one thank the other. So I figured it was just Not Done. However, glad to hear the other side.
Dr. Jekyll& Mrs. Hyde-
In a similar situation as you- but realize I have never publicly thanked my husband in a talk. (he's in a different field from me)... maybe it's partly his personality- I think he would be embarrassed by it or think it inappropriate. Hmmm.
I thank my husband when he has given specific input. Not if he just listens to my gibberish (which we do for each other systematically). And conversely.
We work in the same field, occasionally write a paper together, and are of comparable age and scientific standing. I'm younger but it's hard to tell looking at
I reversed the verbs in physioprof's opening remarks, is that wrong?
That would be a good way to thank him.
Dr R stumbled over this one a wee while ago - I run some simple analysis on some of his samples and he was giving a talk. His first draft was a generic thanks to my lab group but I encouraged him to make it specific. The talk was given at my current institution (but before I started) and a good few people came up to ask him if he knew I was soon to be employed there. His response was to laugh and say he did, then explain the connection! It made life easier for me because then every one knew that my partner was also a chemist (gossip travels faster than light). Saved me answering the 'what does Dr R do' question.
Thank him, try not to drool or use sweet nicknames when you do (we don't need you to thank snufflysnaggywoogie), it isn't a problem!
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